I am officially 36 years old. So far, 36 doesn’t feel much different than 35 but I have a whole year to see if that continues to remain true.
Several people on Facebook, Twitter and via text took a moment yesterday to wish me a happy birthday. A smaller group even took some money out of their pockets and bought me birthday gifts. I really am glad for all of it. It is because of all of those nice words that yesterday was no worse than all the other bad days I’ve had since Ginny died. I say yesterday even though as I write this there’s a little over 4 hours left in the day but as I’ve explained before, I write these in advance.
One comment stood out above all, however. It was my aunt Inez who wished me a happy birthday and said that today would be good if I wanted it to be. I think maybe she was right and that I did not want it to be good…or I didn’t want it enough.
My birthday is on Friday, not that I really care all that much. I don’t have any plans and anything that I might do for my birthday won’t be special since it won’t really be any different than anything else I would do in the run of my normal routine.
I am largely indifferent to the whole thing. Not just my birthday but to life in general right now. No, I am not suicidal for those of you who read this and tend to worry too much about what you see. I will say that again. I have no thoughts or intentions of ending my own life. I would put it in bold but I just don’t feel like it.