Playing Catchup

Well, my very much neglected blog, I figured the time was right for me to write. There has been a lot going on this summer and it seems as though a post catching everyone up is in order. I’m not taking these events in chronological order or even order of importance, just laying it all out.

The first bit of news is that my tenure as host of Talking Audiobooks has come to an end. The fact is that producer Ken just can’t afford to spend the time required to work on the show each week. He made an attempt to find someone to serve as a production intern and that didn’t lead to anything substantive.
I posted this news on Facebook last Friday and I did hear from a few people with options. I will be sorting them out and deciding what to do next. Ken has offered me the chance to take ownership of the show and there are good reasons to do so. There are also god reasons not to do so. This is just the beginning of this story, not the end.
I wasn’t really surprised because this has been in the works since April. We got a couple of pieces of bad news at the same time and I think that really changed Ken’s attitude toward doing the show. I proposed a potential compromise that it looked like we were going to follow but it was not to be.
I have been given the option to do a goodbye episode of Talking Audiobooks. I will probably do so but I am holding off to see if I can put something together to announce. I don’t want to do a final episode only to acquire the show from Ken and bring it back. I guess I could call it a final episode under this incarnation but I’d still want to wait.

I took a trip to Texas earlier this summer. My cousin got married the last full weekend of June so my mom and I traveled with my aunt and uncle by car down to San Antonio. This was noteworthy for me because it was my first real out of state trip since 2003 and my first out of state trip that lasted more than a day or two since the summer of 2002.
I can’t say the trip was perfect. In fact, in many ways I didn’t have fun. I was sore most of the time we were in Texas because of not being used to such long trips in the car. I was in the back seat and that did a number on my hips and shoulders, among other areas of my body. Just about the time I was feeling alright again, it was time to go home. Although the trip back was better because I was able to lay a blanket down across the back seat and that actually helped with some of my issues.
But having said that, I had a great time. It was nice to see my mom’s sister and her family down in Texas. I don’t get to see them that often and it was nice to see them on their home turf as opposed to when they come to visit South Dakota. I didn’t do a lot of tourist stuff, in fact, the day that most of that was done I stayed at our lodging and slept which was something I really needed. I have no regrets about going to Texas or my time spent there. I’d love to go back and suspect I will though I can’t say when.

My brother got married on August 4 and I was a groomsman. This was a lot of fun although I didn’t have as much fun at the rehersal party as I wanted. They had it at the Water Park and I went to the trouble of locating my swimming trunks and water shoes only to not get a single drop of water on me. Nobody wanted to go down the water slide with me.
A water park can be tricky for someone who is visually impaired. It isn’t like I could take my cane with me down the water slide. So it is one of those places where I only feel like going if I am going with someone who can be my sighted guide.
The wedding was really nice. It was held at a great location outside. The ceremony was short which I was happy about because the shoes I had to wear were killing me. The sooner I was out of them the happier I was going to be.
The reception was a lot of fun. The food was delicious and I enjoyed the music. I even allowed myself to get talked into taking the dance floor. I requested ‘The Humpty Dance’ by Digital Underground but the person I asked to pass my request on to the DJ would not do so unless I agreed to take to the dance floor with her. I did so and I had fun. I even went back out for one more song before the night ended.

This feels weird to talk about because of the status of the podcast but I had a great month for audiobook listening in July. I finished 35 books and listened to over 18,000 minutes which are both personal bests for me by far. I went from way behind on my Goodreads yearly challenge to ahead of pace by a considerable margin. I have lost some of that pace because I have only listened to 2 books in the month of August.

I dated a girl for a month, from June 8 to July 8. This has been the first time since early 2014 that I have dated anyone. The relationship came together quickly and ended just as fast. It actually ended on pretty agreeable terms. She texted me saying that she thought we’d be better as friends, I texted a two word reply “I agree” and went back to sleep.
I won’t really say a lot about that here because I really don’t have any hard feelings, I’ll just say that from my point of view and I suspect hers as well, the fit was just bad. Better to decide that early on than to keep dragging something out if you know it won’t work or if you don’t have any real interest in trying to make it work.
As short as the relationship was, it was quite valuable for me. She did not fit the type of girl that I would usually be interested in but I went for it anyway. What I realized is that my type is my type for a reason.
This actually fits well with the new year’s resolution I made at the beginning of 2018. I resolved that by the end of the year I hoped to either be in a good romantic relationship or have found away to be content with being single. I wouldn’t say that I have found a way to be content with being single because in truth I would still rather not be. And while it doesn’t look like I will be anything other than single at year’s end, I have at least come to the conclusion that there are worse things to be. So I may not be content to be single but I am a lot closer to that than I have been in quite some time.

In certain ways, I feel like I am starting to figure things out. I am starting to get a real sense of the type of person that I am. This has actually illuded me for most of my life. I’ve never been really sure of what I want out of life. I could never describe things like my dream job, my dream girl and I actually dread the task of trying to describe myself to others.
I feel like now that I am starting to be able to answer some of these questions. I feel like I am starting to really find myself. Of course, now I have to ask myself what’s next since the podcast is probably done and I have never been fond of that particular question in part because I have seen it so much.
Being able to say I know what I want or I know what I don’t want has illuded me for long enough. I hope I can cntinue to gain a clearer picture in that regard. If I can, this summer will prove to be incredibly worthwhile.

Facebook has this feature where you can answer random questions. The other day I answered one about the best year of my life. I was tempted to say it was 2005 when I was 24. I moved into my apartment and out of my parent’s home. I started a new job and was in a new relationship with someone I had been interested in for awhile. I had a small but fun circle of friends with whom I shared a lot of common interests and spent a lot of time.
I didn’t end up picking that year because a lot of not so great things happened to me that same year. I ended up going with 31 in the year 2012. Because while that year and 2005 share some bad things in common, I lost a grandparent in each year, 2012 was a more transformative year for me.
It was in 2012 that I took stock of my life and decided that I needed to make some changes. That was the year I went to the Rehab Center in Sioux Falls for some independent living training, I learned to cook among other things. Like 2005 I started a new relationship in 2012 and I also started a new job in 2012. The small circle of friends I had in 2005 was largely still in tact in 2012, it didn’t start to fall apart until the next year.
But what I realized is that I seem to have a year like this roughly every 7 years. 24 and 31, 2005 and 2012. Then I realized that if I went back to 17 that was the year I was a senior in High School and there was an abundance of change that took place then.
If that pattern holds, 2019 could be a very interesting year for me. If I’m being honest with myself, I am actually hoping the pattern does hold true, even if I have no idea what that could mean. I usually don’t like the unknown and typically approach change with reluctance but other than more loved ones passing away it is hard to see how other changes wouldn’t be for the better.

September is upon us. September is my least favorite month of the year for reasons I have explained in the past and may revisit in the near future. The most important is that the transition from summer to fall is usually difficult for me, sometimes brutally so.
One of the biggest problems I have with that transition is that no matter what I did over the summer, when fall hits I feel like I wasted the entire summer. This summer was productive, educational and even fun. But when that first day of fall hits in about a month I will probably still feel like it was a waste because I could have done more.
I know that those feelings won’t reflect what really happened. I need only look at this post to see reality. The fact is that I did have some fun, I did learn about myself and the summer was productive. Yes, I could have done more, I didn’t spend as much time outside as I would like…a problem I have every summer but that doesn’t mean the whole thing was a waste.

I don’t know when I will write again, probably not until I think I have something interesting to say. Whether what I said oday was interesting or not is going to be decided by you the reader but I thought it would be a good idea for me to get some of this stuff down.

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