Decision Points

I was offered a job the other day. Before I go into that more I need to explain something. I have generally found that work and the possibility of work aren’t the best things to blog about since employers and potential employers can google your name pretty easily and the things you say on your blog could come back to haunt you. That’s a risk even if you don’t talk about work. Looking at your blog can give them alook into your political and religious beliefs despite the fact that they’re not allowed to ask about those things in an interview. The Internet and social media have changed the game forever in that respect. So there’s always some risk.

But I want some advice and so I have to risk discussing this job opportunity. I will not name the potential employer nor will I discuss the task that I would be hired to do. Not mentioning the specific task presents a difficult situation for me, however. I am not mentioning it so that it doesn’t bias in one way or another the advice that I might receive. I also don’t want to make it seem like I am denigrating anyone who would happen to be doing this for a living. I don’t consider myself to be above the work at all but there are reasons that might make it a bad fit for me because of my own life experiences, misgivings and phobias. However, not identifying the task makes it harder for me to explain the issues that I have with it. So I am actually making it harder for someone to give me advice because I’m keeping some vital information vague. Still, I’m having a hard time with this one and so I have to at least try.

Almost everything about this job is ideal for me. I wouldn’t be working a lot of ours a week if I took the job and they would be in the afternoon which fits my schedule the best. The pay is more than sufficient as I don’t need a lot to maintain my current lifestyle.
I liked the employer a lot when we met the other day. The environment is laid back, there is a lot of good natured teasing that goes on and the 2 people I would be working with both seem pretty nice. So I would definitely enjoy the company while I worked.
I wouldn’t need a lot of accomodations to do this job. I wouldn’t even need any O&M training at the job site because despite having never been in that building before last week, if I were there right now I could easily navigate to where I was going to work. I wouldn’t need any special equipment either.

I did have an issue when I was interviewing the other day. They wanted me to perform the task that would be my job if I took it. That wasn’t an issue and I knew it wasn’t going to be. The problem is that when I was done, and I didn’t do it for very long but I was in some pain. I had a pain in my back which I am not too worried about because I know that pain is a result of me needing to be in better shape and that it wouldn’t be an issue after a short time.
The more problematic pain was in my left foot. That’s the foot I broke back in 2000 and it has never been the same since. This pain I’m not so sure will go away once I am used to the work because it is more of a chronic pain. It is one reason why I haven’t looked at a lot of jobs in the past that would require me to stand for a great length of time.

But even the pain isn’t enough to keep me from taking this job. Especially since I found out today that the employer would be willing to let me start out working two days a week to ease myself into things and if I wanted to work more days I could do so. If I worked a Tuesday and a Friday I could probably handle whatever my foot decided to toss at me.

Here is the problem. I wouldn’t be happy doing this job. For one thing, I am a bit squeemish and there are some issues I’ve had my entire life that I would need to quickly get over just so I could tolerate the work. I say tolerate because I honestly don’t see how I could possibly come to enjoy this task, even if I were doing it while joking around with co-workers.
Money isn’t everything and I would much rather do something I enjoyed doing, even if I made less. I also have issues with depression under the best circumstances and I’m not sure that waking up every day or even twice a week knowing that I was going to hate what I had to do today would be the best thing for my mental health.
I mean, I performed the task for just a few minutes on Friday and was wanting to be done with it after a few minutes.
The truth is that this job would be a short-term thing at best for me because I don’t see it being something I do for the rest of my life. At least I hope it isn’t the thing I do for the rest of my life.

I was all set to turn down the job until I found out I could do it for a couple days a week instead of 5 or 6. Maybe I could grin and bare it for two days a week. I don’t know if I should necessarily settle for something that I would merely grin and bare but the fact that it might be possible for me to do it makesme think I should take the job. Even if I started looking for something that I would enjoy more the next day.
I still have some time to think it over before I give them an answer. I don’t know which way I’m leaning right now. A part of me believed that I should take the job despite the misgivings I have with it. And believe me, I haven’t done a great job of explaining directly what all of them are but I’ve dropped a few hints if you’re able to read between the lines.

But I keep thinking back to my dad and the many conversations we had over the years about what I should do with my life. And, I don’t think my dad would be happy knowing that I “settled” for something. My dad never had a problem telling me what I was good at and which of my talents I should try to capitalize on for the purposes of making a living. Unfortunately, this job wouldn’t put any of those talents to use. That doesn’t mean it is a bad job, it is good work, honest work and work that a lot of people do and are glad to do. I just wonder if it does much good for me to start a job that I would want out of aftera month, if even that long and that would be true if I did it five or six days a week or only two.
What I would really like is a job that I could take and do for a considerable length of time. I would rather not be a job jumper, someone who is always switching jobs or looking for a better one. I crave stability and because I know that my enthusiasm for this job would be short lived I don’t think this job would provide me with any.
I just wonder what my dad would say now if I told him I was thinking of taking a job that would offer me everything I would want, except it wouldn’t make me happy.

I’ve laid out essentially every argument for why I should take the job and all the reasons why I don’t think it would be a good fit. Even if those reasons had to be vague without me giving away more details of the job. Something else to consider is that it is easier to find a job if you have a job and that might be reason enough for me to grin and bare it for awhile. Hold out as long as I can before the specific task drives me crazy which it definitely will for one reason or another.

I don’t know what to do. I have time, though not much of it, to figure out the answer. I am not leaning one way or the other right now. I said above that I was leaning towards not taking it but then found out that if I wanted I could only do it a couple of days a week. That added new elements to the equation and now I am back at square one.

One thought on “Decision Points

  1. I was hoping there’d be more comments on here. Maybe people messaged you privately.

    My main thought through reading this you finally hit on at the end – sometimes it’s easier to get a job if you have a job. If you’d been out of the workforce for 6 months or a year, it’s one thing. But to not have worked as long as you have, I feel like you should take it, because a) having a job, even one you dislike, still makes a person feel better about themselves; b) being in the workforce makes it easier to find something else in the workforce; c) seeing in your job history that yes, you really are willing to do anything is a good thing for potential employers to see.

    Also, a little extra money never hurts.

    Happy to talk more privately if you’re interested. You know several different ways to reach me. 🙂


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