Facebook has a feature called On This Day where you can see what you’ve posted on this day in previous years. I’ve never really been all that interested in this feature. I’ve looked at it from time to time but have posted only a handful of memories.
I don’t really care to dwell on the past. Yes, on my blog I have talked a lot about my past but always in a way that relates to something that I am experiencing in the present. Dwelling on the past seems like the ultimate in fruitless exercises to me since you can’t go back and change it and in most cases you wouldn’t want to do so because who you are today is molded by your experiences from the past.
I don’t know why but I’ve been looking at that feature the last couple of days. Yesterday (4/3) I saw an entry from 2012. It hinted about a lot of changes that I was going through in my life on many different levels. The last one I mentioned was a change to my social life. This was a tease of a budding relationship that I was stepping into at the time with Ann. I’ve written about that relationship in a previous post where I compared my relationships with my favorite sports teams to my relationships with the women I have dated. I thought it was an interesting concept.
Today’s memories for (4/4) contain the one where I announced that Ann and I had broken up. Two years and one day after I first hinted about a new person in my life and it was all over. We dated on and off for two years it wasn’t as though we dated for 23 months straight and then broke up. Still, that was the last time I was in a romantic relationship and the last time I really got close to one.
It is amazing to see how you view time that has passed to time that is happening now and time that is yet to come. Things that seem to drag on forever now will appear to have flown by when you look back on them in the future. I think of my dad’s battle against cancer. A year ago it was just prostate cancer that could easily be treated. One year later and it is liver cancer with no cure. Five years from now will his fight seem to have lasted as long as it feels like it has lasted now? I’m not sure but it feels like such a thing is possible.
But for as much as it seems like that 23 month relationship with Ann flew by so quickly and for as much as it feels like a blink of an eye now that is not a universal truth. The other things that played out in 2012 feel like they took place an eternity ago. April 2012 was when I went to the South Dakota Rehabilitation Center in Sioux Falls for Independent Living training. All of the stuff I did back then, things that have changed my life for the better feels like it happened a lifetime ago.
And yet there are some similarities in terms of how I view both of those experiences. My relationship with Ann made me happy, even though there were definite issues but as I’ve said before I always believed they could be worked out. My time at the rehab center also made me happy but was not without its stressful moments. But I view one as feeling like the blink of an eye and the other as feeling like it was an eternity ago. And my time at the rehab center was shorter than my relationship with Ann by a wide margin but it is also the one that has had a more profound impact on my life.
This is one of those posts where I am not altogether sure of my point. I think I’m trying to say that time and how we perceive things that have happened to us is oddly unpredictable. If that’s not it then I’m not sure at all of the point. I do know that it might not really matter. You, the reader, are going to take from this post whatever you take from it and you may take from it something I may never have considered. You may even make an observation in the comments that I wouldn’t have even considered on my own. It is all in how we have lived our lives and what we have learned. That’s what makes life both frustrating and fascinating all at once.
The baseball season officially starts today. It is projected to be a long and painful one for my beloved Atlanta Braves but sometimes you need to take a step back to take several steps forward and I’m fine with it. I’ll be going out to my paren’t house to sit with my dad while my mom and sister are working and my nephews are in school. I’m happy to do this because this way he isn’t home alone.
Also, tonight is the Men’s College Basketball National Championship game. North Carolina will take on Villanova in a game that matters to me personally. If UNC wins then I am the victor in the 2016 RandomCatastrophe.net March Madness pool. If Villanova wins then my cousin Shiloh wins the pool and that will make it two years in a row for her winning as she was last year’s champion as well. But that’s not going to happen because I’m going to win, I declare it!
If you want to see my memories on Facebook whenever I decide to share them (it still won’t be often) or keep closer tabs on what I’m doing in the present, I love adding new friends. Click here to view my profile and add me as a friend. All are welcome. I should also note my intention to write more about my time at the rehab center later this month.