Yesterday’s post from No Passing Fancy, combined with a recent development in my own life got me to thinking. Near the end of Friday’s Voice Post I mentioned that something had happened and I was considering ranting about it.
Without going into too many details, the reason I wanted to rant is because someone had made a comment in a text message that I did not really appreciate. The comment hurt my feelings and did not exactly make me want to talk to that individual anytime in the near or far future. This does not mean I won’t talk to them just that I might not go out of my way to do so.
I was faced with a problem, however. I did not want to write or speak about this issue while I was still angry about it. I hadn’t gotten enough sleep Thursday night which was a contributing factor to how angry I was about it. After more rest on Friday, I felt better. When I felt better I didn’t see the point in discussing it at all.
Then yesterday, the same cycle repeated itself. I woke up after not enough sleep and was miffed about that text yet again. Now that I have had more rest, I feel better and am not going to spend the remaining part of this post discussing it.
The topic that came to mind after reading her post and what I’m trying to get at in this one is writing while angry. I write when I am in all kinds of different moods. I was sad when I wrote this. This post was written at a low point in my depression. I have written posts while happy (too many to link to just one), determined, nestalgic and bored.
The desire to write exists when I am in any number of different moods. The desire to write does not exist when I am angry. I have written angry before in my life. When I was doing the original Combat-Hooligans.com site I would write about news stories that made me angry all the time. Each day covering Boxing at the 2008 Olympics left me angrier than any person aught to be because of how that sport is contested.
As discussed in this voice post, I tend to use more bad language when I am around people who use more bad language and I also tend to use more bad language when I am angry. But I really don’t like to swear when I write, even more than when I speak. When I speak I can say (and sometimes it is true) that it just slipped out. But since writing can always be edited, if I swear in a post that means it was intentional. But it always feels unnatural to me to type swear words into a written post, even when I’m angry.
When I would write angry, I would often wonder if my anger was going to far. Perhaps I was just overdoing it a bit to get attention. Often while writing angry I would attempt to lighten the mood of my post with humor. Humor stemming from anger is never as funny to me as I think it is when I first come up with it.
Now you know that you will see me write in the midst of sadness and depression, happiness and determination, boredom and excitement but hopefully you will not see me write angry. I’m not saying that it is wrong to write while angry because for some people that might be the way that they calm down. I’m also not saying that it is wrong to be angry. Anger is a natural human emotion and can sometimes even be a righteous one. It is when anger is taken too far that it becomes an issue. I don’t write angry because for me it never turns out to be writing of any quality. Also, I’m not telling you about why I don’t write in anger to brag. In truth, I have very little if anything to brag about particularly when it comes to anger.
I’m not going to say that writing in anger hasn’t even worked out for me. Last Valentine’s post I wrote something in a fit of anger. That post became the inspiration for over a dozen more posts about living life with a visual impairment. I don’t think I would have written any of those if that first post hadn’t been inspired by anger. This is why I’m not going to guarantee that I will never write in the throws of an angry mood because I could. But the reason you don’t see all of those posts archived on this site is because I think they could be better. Even though people liked them, I feel that they could be structured better and have a much different tone with some editing. Anger might have produced that series but it didn’t make it a quality one from the viewpoint of the author although I know the readers felt different.
How did I cope with the anger from the other day? I talked to No Passing Fancy and explained the situation. I also pointed out that I’d probably be less anger if I had slept more and she agreed with that assessment. She encouraged me to sleep and said that I would feel better when I woke up again and she was correct. After that, I essentially moved on and dd not dwell on the subject. I might not have even mentioned the text at all on this blog if her post didn’t get me thinking about anger in general. I can tell you that I certainly don’t plan to bring it up again in the future as I don’t see what good that would do.
I always try one of two things with this section of my post. Either I try to tie it in with the subject at hand or I try to end on a happy note. Today, I am going to opt for the latter approach. Here is a song about Unicorns. In fact, here is ‘The Unicorn’ by The Irish Rovers.
I dare you to listen to this and not smile. Although in fairness, the ending is a bit of a downer.