Meh

I know that yesterday’s post teased a posible topic for today’s post. It was to be a post about what I thought my life would be like if I could see. This post is not going to be about that, however. I still hope to write that post eventually but think it will be long and I don’t feel like lengthy writing today.

Today was a “meh” day. It was not a good day, it was not a bad day it was a just there kind of day. I would say that most of my days as of late probably fall into this category. Yes, Saturday was A Good Day and my Birthday was a really bad day but most days fall within those two extremes. And they don’t fall close enough to one or the other to clearly be counted as good or bad thus why they get labeled as being “meh”.
My internal clock is now officially off. This means that for most of you, while you are wide awake and active I will be asleep and while you’re sound asleep I’ll be awake if not necessarily active. As more and more time passes and this clock problem cycles around from issue to not an issue and back again, I become more certain that I suffer from Non-24. Sleep has been a struggle in one form or another for as long as I can recall. How I got any work done in school when I was younger is a mystery when I think about how little I used to sleep at night. Did I tell my parents about this or complain about a lack of sleep ever? Of course I did not. The same habit of not complaining is probably why I wasn’t diagnosed with allergies until I was in my mid 20s.

Honestly, I didn’t really feel like writing today. I did so in part because I’ve yet to miss a day so far this year and that was a goal of mine. I also did it because writing this post every day is the closest thing I currently have to a routine. Even though I didn’t really feel it today, writing has been a help to me as I work through the grief which has dominated my life as of late. I didn’t feel like writing but I still saw the value in doing so if that makes sense. Even though I didn’t really feel like doing it today, it still hasn’t become a chore.

I want to find something fun to write that is also short. I am not quite ready to return to reviewing Audiobooks just yet. Still, I’d like to find something more upbeat that could be hammered out quickly. This post might seem long but since I am a fast typist it really isn’t as long as you might think.
Finally, thanks to all of the new followers I seem to have acquired as of late. I don’t know what it is that made you decide to come back for more but whatever it is, I hope you are getting something out of it. I really write for myself above all. If that writing somehow attracts an audience then that is a big bonus. I used to write for an audience above all and that is what ultimately led to burnout on a few projects.

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2 thoughts on “Meh

  1. As I read this post, one word came to mind : Courage.

    We all have ‘Meh’ days. Here’s hoping yours is closely followed by a Good one 😉

    Thank you for writing down your thoughts in such an honest way – I love reading about them, and that’s what keeps bringing me back!

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