When I started this website I did so with the idea that I would write daily. I established that as the goal because I figured it would help to make me a better writer. How could I not improve when I was forced to write even when there was no obvious topic on which I felt I should write?
I think writing daily is still a worthwhile endeavor but I am okay with the fact that I have failed to do so. Perhaps I can resolve to write every day in the new year but until then my attempts at writing daily are on hold. However, even though I have not written daily I have produced so much content when I have written that I’m actuall still far ahead even after missing a few days. Remember that there have been days with 5 entries or more. That’s a lot of content.
I didn’t write most of last week because I just did not feel in the mood to do so. The mood I described on Sunday didn’t really improve and in some ways got worse. The truth is that my self-confidence is as fluid as you can get. One day I have both short-term and long-term goals that I’ve mapped out and I know how I plan to get from one to the other. Then a week or two later I am plagued with self doubt and all of that planning feels like it has gone to nothing because I don’t think it will work or that I don’t have the energy to see it through.
I realized that the problem isn’t that I lack optimism. I have always thought of myself as an optimistic person because I am certainly capable of feeling optimistic. The issue is that I am not consistently optimistic. I’m not consistently a pessimist either. If I were consistent one way or the other I could work within that framework. I’d rather be consistently optimistic but could make it work if I were consistently pessimistic. Unfortunately, I don’t know if I’m going to wake up with a positive outlook or a negative one. Also, I find that if one minor thing goes wrong in a given day that is enough to change the outlook on the whole day. It could be the best day ever but if one little thing goes wrong that might be the only thing about the day I remember. It does work the other way, one unexpected thing going write can overshadow the rest of a truly bad day. But I’m not sure that is the most effective way to conduct myself. I should be trying to achieve a balance in my personality instead of a series of mountain tops and valleys.
I have no idea if this makes sense to anyone else but as I said before, I write this for me and if other people understand then it is a bonus.
I discovered an interesting blog this morning thanks to my friend Holly’s facebook. It is called Where’s Your Dog and I think it is an interesting perspective on being blind. I wouldn’t say I agree with everything the young woman has written but that’s okay because the most disturbing thing I can imagine is metting someone who agreed with me on everything.
I advise reading her entry on discrimination which you can find here. There is some good stuff in that post. I’ve discussed a few of those things before such as the importance of voice in my life but it hits on some other good points as well.
I’ve got a few book reviews to write in the near future. I’m currently reading Terry Funk’s autobiography again and am enjoying it. That’s one I will review as soon as I am done.
My obsession with WWE figures only seems to be growing. I went out and inventoried K-Mart and Wal-Mart last weekend to see what each place had that I might eventually want. I need to do the same at the Target in Sioux Falls. I’m kicking myself for not going there the last time I was in town. I’m already quite knowledgeable
of what is available at Amazon and RingsideCollectibles. If I buy more figures and fewer books for awhile that won’t be so bad. The backlog of books I have that I haven’t listened to is substantial enough that I could go for a year or two before having read everything in my library.
I’ve also written less because I’ve been exploring ways I can make small amounts of money online. I’m not talking a lot, like less than $200 a month, that kind of thing. Enough to feed my new figure addiction so that I’m not sacrificing valuable social outings so I can buy an Ascension 2 pack.
One of the things I’ve found is Bing Rewards. Doing searches on bing and earning points which can be turned into gift cards is pretty nice, I have to admit. I subscribe to the theory that you can make a big thing by accumulating a lot of small ones.