Last week, I intended to write a post discussing relationships. The introduction to that post contained a factoid about having no photographs of myself with any of my romantic partners. Eventually, the introduction became so long that I scrapped the whole thing and wrote about photographs instead.
I’m back again this week and hopefully I will be able to stay on my original topic since I have already gotten the thing about no pics with myself and any girlfriend out of the way. I will write about romantic relationships and that will probably be the focus of this entry but as you can see by my title, I intend to hit on a wider range of topics than just the romantic.
Last summer, I had a falling out with one of my oldest and closest friends. I am happy to report that after 11 months of astrangement our relationship is on the mend. I maintained at the time that the falling out was not my choice in that I would have been happy to attempt to move on from our difficulties right there and then but it was not to be. The fact that we did have a falling out that resulted in a cold period between us was valuable in one sense, however. It made me realize exactly how few friends I actually have.
Actually, I have a lot of friends. There’s my Scotish friend Euan, my radio friend Art, my Ric Gillespie friend Ric Gillespie, my friend in Florida Melissa, my Simpsons buddy and hopeful future podcast co-host Mia and a few other friends in the southern region of the country. There’s even my man Alan up in NYC.
Oh yeah, we can’t forget the Danger man! Trust me, I’ve tried, Danger cannot be forgotten.
Here’s Danger having fun with IcyHot on a Christmas podcast we did which also demonstrates that I am a bad influence on people. This video is full of profanity because IcyHot in unwanted places really hurts…not that I have first hand experience, mind you.
I know I have missed a few others but these are the ones that I’ve either known the longest or have logged considerable time getting to know online. Trust me, there are others that populate my Facebook friends list that I could mention as well but then I’d never really get past this point. So I’m sticking with the ones that most quickly leap to mind.
All of those previously mentioned above are good friends. They are all different from one another which is also great but they all have one thing in common. None of them are in Huron South Dakota and none are likely to ever be in Huron. Danger threatens a visit, I’m trying to get Euan to come to the state fair so that he can be poisoned by fair food and Ric Gillespie doesn’t leave the confines of his couch.
It is also very unlikely that I will end up in any of their locations at any point in the near future. One of my pet peeves is that all the stuff I would like to buy costs money and that includes transportation.
So while I am grateful for the friendships I have with all of those mentioned specifically and others that didn’t get a direct shout out they don’t really solve my problem of having local friends. I need more local friends so I can socialize more and spend less of my time online.
I have a few friends that are local but they all tend to fall into one category or another. There’s the 1 or 2 whom I socialize with a great deal, the 1 or 2 whom I socialize with once or twice a year and then there are those people where we keep talking about doing stuff together and then never actually do it.
The trouble is that socializing with just one or two people isn’t the best thing for either of us. The even bigger problem is that I’ve never especially been good at making friends.
In school I always had a small group of friends about 3 or 4 and people would rotate in and out. That is how it has always been for me. As a 34 year old man I have no idea about how to go about making friends now. A lot of people become friends with co-workers but for now that is not an option and even when it was an option I didn’t really get close to any of the people I was working with in part because at the time most were considerably older than I.
Part of my problem is that I’m actually quite shy. I am a paradox in many ways and this is one of them. I am very charismatic and have a big personality but only with people who I know well or have known for a long time. In unfamiliar surroundings I do not do well and do not make an effort to stand out in a crowd. I stay pretty quiet and try to blend in to the group. I am approachable and I make a special effort to never be rude or impolite in public but still.
So when that falling out happened, I realized that this would be a good opportunity to try and make new friends who were close by. I can’t say my effort was unsuccessful because my effort never really got off the ground. You can’t technically fail to make new friends when you don’t make the attempt. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. The attempt was not made because of what I said previously. I just do not know how to go about doing it.
There are people that are my friends who aren’t in Huron but are close enough to visit. I have several friends in Sioux Falls and a couple in my old college town and a few more just across the state line in North Dakota. Still, since I can’t drive that puts up a barrier to doing a lot with them or even seeing them all that often. There is also a group of people who I know from school and are my friends now but probably wouldn’t be if Facebook didn’t exist. I’m glad it does so that we can remain in touch but if it didn’t we would have lost touch after graduation for sure.