Rain and Stuff

It has been raining all day. It was raining when I woke up and it has not stopped since I’ve been awake. I guess this is a good thing. I guess we need all the rain we can get at this point but at a certain point I’m sure that will no longer be true and we’ll get too much.
I came to realize something only a few years ago when it came to farmers and how they feel about the rainfall. There is never an exact right amount of rain for them. It has either rained too much or not enough. I don’t even know where the transition between not enough and too much actually takes place. You’d think that right before that switch it would land on just the right amount but I’ve never heard a farmer say anything close to “we got the right amount of rain this year”.

I don’t really have a lot to say today. I don’t have much more to say than I did yesterday.

I’m actually pretty tired. There is something about rain that tends to exhaust me. I’ve never been diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder but I’m firmly convinced that I do have it at least to a certain degree. Now this isn’t the change of season it is just a gloomy and rainy day but I do feel differently on days like this. I also do feel differently when the seasons shift. When it goes from summer to fall my spirits drop and when it goes from winter to spring they rise somewhat. That wasn’t as true this winter to spring transition because of my dad’s battle with cancer and how that basically threw everything off.
The fact that fall is just over a month away is something that I am already beginning to mentally prepare for. One reason I dislike the switch is because of the birds. I like going out and hearing birds chirp. In fall and winter when I go outside it is just dead silent from a nature standpoint.

Yet for all of the problems I have with the seasons I think if I lived in an area with a pretty consistent climate, I would have as much trouble only of a different sort. I don’t really like winter but at least it is something different. I am odd in that I tend to remain in my comfort zone as much as possible but I still manage to be thankful for variety and having different/new things happen to and around me.
It is when I realize things like that about myself that I really understand why I don’t like describing myself to other people. If I don’t make sense to myself how can I possibly expect that I’m going to make sense to someone else?

One area in which I would like to see something different is in traveling. I haven’t had an extended leave from South Dakota since July of 2002 when I went to Guide Dogs for the Blind out in California. I feel like it is time to take another extended trip. Sometimes being in a new place is helpful to get me thinking about things and seeing the reality of my situation in a new light.
Unfortunately, financially I just don’t see how I can manage any kind of a trip. I guess I could start an online fundraiser but that’s not likely to ever happen since I can’t imagine anyone actually contributing to it and there are far better causes out there. Click here for one of those causes.
Even if I did have the money I’m not sure where I would like to go. I think more than anything I’d like to go and visit someone I know. Either someone I know but haven’t seen in awhile or someone I know but haven’t actually met in person. I say that because I’m not really for sightseeing or that kind of thing and I’m also not the type to just lie around on the beach. If I went some place where I was by myself and didn’t know anyone it would be entirely too easy for me just to never leave a hotel room and that would negate the whole point of going somewhere. I can not go outside while I’m at home and so I certainly don’t need to go some place new to do that.

I wouldn’t mind going back to California or perhaps Las Vegas. I don’t know anyone in Hawaii but that has always been a dream destination of mine. Another place I’d like to visit someday is Atlanta. I could probably be sold on a few other places but the ones I specifically mention are places that I am pretty sure I wouldn’t need any convincing to visit. Although, I guess California would depend on where in the state I was to go but the others are more specific locations.

Alright, I guess I actually have written something of substance or more substantive than I suspected when I started writing. This post is an example of why I think it is good for me to try and write something every day. If I had said that I had nothing to write about today and then just didn’t write none of this would have come out. I think it is good for this to come out as perhaps it might lead to my getting some helpful advice from someone reading it. Getting it out there is nice but even I understand that it actually doesn’t solve very much at least in this instance. There are times when simply putting something out there is enough and the real problem was that you just couldn’t get it off your chest but badly needed to do so. This isn’t one of those instances. Talking about how it would be good for me to travel is all well and good but I’ve already said that previously and it hasn’t made much of an impact. That won’t really happen unless or until there are steps taken, by me, to make that a reality.

Thus ends my entry for today and my little pep talk to myself. I am going to go hide under the covers and listen to the rain come down. It isn’t raining heavily but it is pretty steady. Although as I write this now I don’t hear anything so it might have actually stopped. Even if it has though I’m still ready to get in a nap.