Only Selfie...ever far


When I first sat down to write this post it was going to be about romance. I still plan to write a post about that particular subject at some point in the very near future but as I started writing this post became about something else entirely. Rather than try and shove the post back on to the original subject or make it extra long by getting back to my originally planned point, I just decided not to fight it. So this is a post about pictures.

A post about pictures? How did I get from the idea of discussing romance to the topic of pictures? Well, it was actually quite easy. The first thing I mentioned is that I have no photographs of myself with any of the women I have dated over the years.

Yes, it is true, I don’t have any photographic evidence to prove that I have ever dated anyone. I don’t know how many of the women that I’ve dated have photographic proof that we ever dated. If I had to guess, I would say that only one of them perhaps two but no more than that possess photographs of us together.
I’m not the only one without photographic evidence of my relationships. Most of my x-girlfriends have no proof either and they are probably happy that is the case.
As I said, maybe one or two of them do but if they do they are photos that were either taken that I have forgotten about or they are photos taken that I never knew about. Regardless of whether or not they have photos it really doesn’t change the fact that I have none myself.

It is not true that I don’t possess any photos because they would remind me of bad times. While it is certainly true that all of my romantic entanglements do come with some unpleasant memories, they all also come with some positive ones. The truth is that being visually impaired, it is not practical for me to possess a lot of photos. I don’t need to sit in my recliner and pull out a photo of an x-girlfriend and stare longingly at it to recall fond memories.
I can recall positive memories of relationships without the aid of a photograph. Most of the positive images I might want to recall are stuck inside my head and my vision is so sparse there’s no difference between staring at a photo and staring at a blank page.

It isn’t just romantic relatiotships where I am lacking in the photograph department. If you come to my apartment you will find very few photos. You will find some on my computer which came off of my phone but you won’t find any actual pictures. I don’t have a lot of items hanging on the walls. I have a single poster in my living room from a World Extreme Cagefighting show I helped to promote a few years ago on the Combat Hooligans site. It was the first Urijah Faber-Jens Pulver fight if you are curious. I have no photos or posters of any kind in my bedroom.

I don’t have many pictures on my iPhone but there are a few. I have taken exactly one selfie in my life and it is the featured image on this post. I took it for my friend Mia a few months ago. Mia should feel special that I took that pic for her because it is not likely that I will take another selfie anytime soon.

The pic is the way it is because I needed to prove to her that I actually had some Duff mints. I’m glad I took the photo because when I got those mints home I set them down and have not seen a sign of them since, they weren’t even open. I have no idea where they went. I took the pic at the Corn Palace because she was amused by this video:

See, when I’m feeling ambitious enough I can think of some cool ideas for photos.

Honestly, the lack of photos is not just due to the fact they hold little value to me. I don’t really like having my picture taken. I hated it as a child and it hasn’t gotten better as an adult. We did take some for my parent’s 40th anniversary which was in June and that wasn’t so bad so maybe there is hope.
I don’t mind not having so many pics of myself but I do wish I had more of Ginny than I do. She’s a very photogenic dog but I just never had that many pictures taken of her.

Being visually impaired I do miss out on a lot and have some struggles with the way our society works these days in relation to pics. I don’t comment on a lot of Facebook posts that involve photos unless they are captioned in such a way that I have some idea of what the message of the picture is trying to say. I will like a photo if it says something like “hanging out at the hockey game” because that at least tells me something I can get behind.
There are a lot of posts that just say something like “share if you agree” or “like if this applies to you” or something in that vain. I never share or like those posts, even if there is a good chance I would agree with the message of the photo if I could see it. Since I can’t and don’t know what I’m agreeing with or what is supposed to apply to me, I don’t acknowledge them.

So much of online dating which I have tried off and on over the years with very little success is based on photos. People sharing photos to get attention and people wanting to see photos if they’re not provided. Until last Friday, my Facebook Profile photo was a picture from Futurama and for some reason it was only Dr. Zoidberg’s stomach. Not being able to size an image is another reason I don’t put many up, I never know for sure what is being seen. Sure enough, I changed the pic to one of myself and I got a lot of likes and comments. More on that than anything else I’ve posted on Facebook in quite some time if ever.

Faithful readers, that is how a post that started out being about romantic relationships turned into one about photographs. I was making my point about having no relationship photos to transition to talk about my quest over the years to find love. I just never got there which means that post will have to come later. It is also an apt analogy for my quest for everlasting love, I haven’t gotten there yet.