Things Go Poorly When Talentless Hacks Attempt to Recreate the Achievements of the Supremely Gifted

Thursday night, I went to a Hairball concert and towards the end they played one of my favorite songs, ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ by Queen. I love ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ because it is a great song but I also have a fondness for it since it was playing when I had my first kiss.

Mind you, I have no idea why my first kiss happened during ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ but it absolutely did. My girlfriend at the time then made a CD for me that contained nothing but that song over and over. I still have the CD somewhere but the romance did not last. She and I are still friends though.

Anyway, at the beginning of the song the singer said:

Kanye West can kiss my ass.

which I thought was a weird way to start out the song. So I did what all good people do when they don’t understand something, I went to google. That’s when I realized how many great friends I have.

My friends are great because even though this video came out in June not a one of them sent it to me and instructed me to give it a listen.

Warning: If you haven’t heard this yet, I would encourage you to think long and hard before you give it a listen. You can’t unhear this once you’ve heard it. The damage is done and cannot be reversed. You have been warned.

I’m so thankful none of my friends exposed me to this at the end of June when it found itself online. At the end of that particular month, I was very close to wishing what was left of my sanity well in its future endeavors. Hearing that would have pushed me over the edge without question.

Some people say that Kanye West butchered ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’. These people are sadly mistaken. Butchered is not nearly a strong enough word to describe what Kanye West did to that song. Madonna butchered ‘American Pie’ and here is the proof if you don’t believe me.

That, dear reader, is butchering a song. What Kanye West did was assassinate ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’. He killed it and then unnecessarily defiled the body when he was done. This is what happens when people with no talent try to do things that require an abundance of talent.
This is such a senseless act. What did ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ ever do to Kanye West to deserve that kind of treatment? Did the song bully him for years as a child? Did the song run him off the road when he was just a driver’s Ed. student? Did it threaten to burn down his house?
This whole thing illustrates exactly why I have a love/hate relationship with the Internet. I hate the Internet because things like this are being preserved for years and probably decades.

I love the Internet because without it we would never have gotten Freddie Mercury’s response to this tragety:

Even Hitler took time away from whatever it is that Hitler does these days to react:

When Hitler is weighing in, you know things have gone horribly wrong.

If the United States Congress would like a spike in their approval ratings all that is required is for them to pass a bill banning Kanye West from ever doing something like this again in the future.

Thanks again to all of the people in my life who kept this thing away from me throughout the entire month of July.

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4 thoughts on “Things Go Poorly When Talentless Hacks Attempt to Recreate the Achievements of the Supremely Gifted

  1. I listened to exactly 42 seconds of the Kanye video and I blame you for subjecting me to that. Luckily I have Bohemian Rhapsody and other Queen classics on my iPhone.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I do not accept blame for your watching of this video.

      You were warned. If I said “don’t drink this, it is poison and it will kill you” and you drank it anyway, totally not my fault.

      I’m impressed you lasted 42 seconds, I didn’t even last 42 seconds.

      I’ve been listening to the one true version of the song a lot over the past 5 days in an attempt to undo what had been done.

      Like

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